South Park Reacts to FanFiction!
by rosy2lee2
Summary: Ever wondered how the characters of South Park would react to them being in our FanFiction? Here are their reactions, thoughts and suggestions. T for language.
1. Cartman

**A/N: I totally stole this from a story called 'Breaking the Fourth Wall' in the Death Note part of this site... but that person stole it from a story in the Harry Potter part of the site. Anyway, w****riting this first chapter was hard cause I'm not used to writing in Cartman's POV and I haven't written anything on this site for quite a while now... so I'm out of practice. But I suddenly felt like writing again. Wooo /partay**

**I hope it doesn't suck too bad.**

**Enjoy ^^**

* * *

><p>Dear weird stalker FanFiction writers who are obviously either hippies or Kyle's Jew babies,<p>

I read a few FanFictions of which included me in, and I can tell you that you all need to go see a therapist or a cannabis dealer or get laid or something.

I don't like Kyle. Not even as a friend. I thought that was clear by the fact that I have tried to kill him several times (incase you all have memory loss, remember the time when I brought him on a boat into a lake and attempted to beat him to death with a baseball bat?).

And even if we did do anything, it would be him sucking my balls, not me sucking his. I doubt he even has balls anyway. And I would never stick my weiner up where anyone shits out of, especially not Kyle's.

And if it isn't a story about me and Kyle, I'm either a background character, the coward who gets killed and/or shunned or the evil villain who beats up the actual main character all the time. I mean, I know I'm totally the strongest mother-fucker in this town and anyone who disagrees (cough Kyle cough) should have a long and horrible death, but seriously.

I'm in, like, every god damn episode of the series, and the only story lines you can think of are of a non-existent relationship between me and a stupid Jew? How about the fact that I have enough ninja skilz to escape any situation (I got away with murdering a kids parents and feeding them to him, I can get away with shit loads of dildos). And how about the fact that my mom is like a slave to me. I can get her to do anything I want her to. Why don't you write a story where she is the villain for once? What sexism against the male population, jeez.

Besides, I'm not all evil. What about that one time where I kept all those cats in my attic when they were outlawed? I kept five goddamn cats in my attic, and even gave them a diary to write in! And there was that one time where I helped my pal Jimmy out with his date! Does this not show my generosity?

Write some real stories, not some brainless soppy romance crap. Here's an idea for you Jews who have no creativity skills: an awesome wild west action story where I'm the sheriff of this town and I fight to save this town from all the horrors of Jew-ism and weed-smoking-hippies. Seriously.

Screw you lot, I'm finished.

From your king, Sheriff Cartman.


	2. Tweek

Dear _Jesus Christ _FanFiction writers,

WHY HAVE YOU MADE ME GAY? Actually, don't answer that _pressure._

Everyone knows that I have a caffeine addiction and that I twitch and scream a lot. And you should all –_ngh _know that it is uncontrollable and incurable. Therapy, drugs and people don't help.

So why oh why do you think that my muscle spasms will go away when Craig is near me? He's the only person I've ever gotten into a fight with, and he's _so fucking rude. _If anything he makes my anxiety and paranoia worse.

Oh wait. Don't tell him I said that. OH MY GOD YOU'RE HIS SPY AREN'T YOU? SHIT HE'S GONNA MURDER ME I TELL YOU!

Ahem. Sorry. I needed that coffee, thanks.

So yeah, All I seem to be used for in any stories is Craig's love object… which, by the way, makes both of us very OOC.

And I always seem to be working in my father's coffee shop, which I guess makes sense, but it doesn't. _Argh _that sentence doesn't make sense _it has a double negative or something_!

But how the hell would anyone expect me to listen to someone's order and make it for them without making any mistakes with it and _charge them money?_ Too much pressure, dude!

And, oh god, I could _not _cope with the thought of a teenager in a hoodie coming in and lifting up his pistol and fucking _shooting my brains out _and _eating my brains for no reason other than they hate me, _ARGH.

Anyway, why do you all seem to put me in so many stories as the main character? Too much attention is too much _pressure_! _Ngh- _And why all romances? I could never, ever, ever kiss another person without wanting to puke my guts up into their mouths due to my undiagnosed anxiety disorder and _oh my god they'd break my neck for that._

If you really want to make me a main character in a story, make me and the Gnomes have a showdown!

But please make there be no blood or violence.

Or any arguments.

Or any confrontation at all _pressure._

Please keep it rated K.

Or, better yet, _stop stalking me._

From Tweek Tweak.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Tweek is cool. but he wouldn't be able to handle the pressure.**

**Anyway, so many thanks and hugs to ConcreteAnglesRoxherHalo, Kylee Carr, xMistressChaosx and iluvkenny for reviews last time it makes me so uberly happy :)**

**Review now and you'll get a hug from your fave SP character!**


	3. Tuong Lu Kim

To FanFiction users and writers,

This is Tuong Lu Kim. I own the City Sushi in South Park. I'm the Chinese man (not the Japanese or Mongolian, the _Chinese_). And I'm the coorest character ever. You should come over one day, I make the finest Chinese food in the whoooole of South Park.

Anyway, I was on and I was rooking at the South Park section and was trying to find a story about me. For some reason there was no story which included me on the first page, so I rooked at the character section to select my name and find all the results of stories with me a central character.

But guess what?

My name wasn't on the fucking rist.

No Tuong Lu Kim.

But on the list, there is that kid that called himself Vampir or something gay rike that. You know, that preppy vampire kid who was in rike one episode of the whole series and got sent to some far, far away prace, never to be seen again?

He was on the fucking rist.

But I was not.

WHAT THE FUCK. FUCK YOU ALL.

Not-so-much-rove, from Tuong Lu Kim. (Fuck you all)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is unnacceptable. Tuong Lu Kim is not of the goddamn list. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.**

**(Yeah I know it's short, sorry)**

**Ahem, anyway, thanks to XMistressChaosX, Not the Time to Brake Down, Cupcake Queen Liz, WeAreTheGrapes (I also love your username), PlayboyXXX, Soapy Tucker, native of OooandSouthpark , Chocolate-Divine-Waffles and alexdemyx for the absolutely fantabulous reviews :D You all make my day happier.**

**I shall update again tomorrow (unless I, like, die), so review if you want a tour around South Park from your fave character! ^^**


	4. Kenny

To FanFiction writers,

I don't have much to complain about. After all, I have probably fucked just about every character in the whole series at least once. Kyle, Stan, Craig, Bebe, Wendy, Butters, you name it. Even older characters like Mrs. Cartman (who is hot by the way). (although sometimes you pair me with someone shitty like fatass which I would rather die again than have happen to me.)

Sometimes I'm even paired with OCs… I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I hope they're hot.

And when I'm not having sex, I'm being nice and helping my friend in some way or another. Maybe I'm selling him drugs, maybe I'm taking him to the party, maybe I'm just listening to his problems and comforting him (with hot sex mwahaha).

I'm never the villain, and I get lots of sex.

The only problem is that about 98% of the times I have sex is with a male. Most often Kyle or Butters. Actually, a lot of the time Butters is dressed as a girl (otherwise called Marjorine), which is weird because if I picture him as a girl and then he takes his clothes off and then he has a penis, I'd be surprised. Period. Not that I have anything against penises. Just when I am expecting a vagina and, hey-presto, there is a dick, I might be a bit put off.

Not that I would stop or anything.

But back to the actual subject: 98% boys? Come on, I'm a bit more straight than that! I do need more tits in my life, please!

And if I'm NOT the party guy OR the sex addict, I get a cool action story in which I am Mysterion (come on, everyone knows by now that I'm Mysterion.) and fight crime and evil, plus I get to beat the crap out of Cartman (AKA the Coon) and then have sex with Professor Chaos :P

I suppose there are some really depressing stories in which I get abused by my parents, get killed all the time and come back to life, and 'no-one cares' and I become all emo and stuff… but it's all cool 'cause in the end I get to have sex with my saviour! (Which makes me the uke. I disagree with but whatever, I'm an open-minded person.)

BOOBS. WOOHOO!

Keep it up ;)

From Kenny

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Not sure if I made him too perverted but whatever I've already written it now.**

**THANKS TO: Not The Time To Brake Down, HappyNoodleGirl666, XMistressChaosX (especially cause I'm having writers block on Stan I never read stories about him), Chocoholic-Wallflower, ladylove1335, Soapy Tucker, SuperDupergir, SouthParkfan8 and alexdemyx FOR ALL THE REVIEWS I IS SO HAPPY I COULD KISS YOU ALL!**

**Anyway, review and you get to be either Lemmiewinks or Mr Kitty for a day, or just be a fly on the wall for a day at South Park school!**


	5. Wendy

Dear FanFiction writers,

I don't like Cartman in the smallest amount (I may have has sexual tension for like two days when we were in elementary school, but I can assure you that I would never ever think of him as anything mroe than a fat fucking sexist asshole anymore). Or Bebe, at least not in that way. I do like Stan however. But you all seem to believe he's gay for Kyle. Which he isn't, because you should all know that he is dating me. Besides, you should know that I can get rid of any competition between be and Stan easily – remember the time where I sent that slutty substitute teacher to the centre of the sun when she was trying to fuck with my and Stan's relationship? IF I CAN GET RID OF HER EASILY I CAN GET RID OF KYLE JUST AS EASILY, BITCHES.

And although I admit I can be a little stubborn, this seems to be the only trait that any of you ever focus on in your stories with me in. There was one FanFic I read where I paid Craig to rape Kenny because Stan and him were now together and I was pissed off. How messed up is this? For one, if I did that I wouldn't hire Craig, I would hire some unknown person who is an expert at crime. I also wouldn't get the person trying to fuck with me to get fucked themselves, I would _kill them._ Rape is stupid and obviously without killing them they can just go and tell the police and get me arrested.

What's more, whoever wrote that clearly has depression issues or is a sadistic bastard.

Besides, shouldn't the fact that I am very politically correct, intelligent and perfectly reasonable when it comes to anything (other than I and Stan) mean that I'm not a heartless cunt?

Maybe you all hate me. Or maybe you don't hate me, maybe it's that you hate girls. I mean, Girls never seem to be main characters in your stories! It's always boys being gay for each other! I DECLARE SEXISM! Either that or heterophobia… if there is such thing.

I am going to sue.

From Wendy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I actually did read that fanfic, it was one of my first ever fanfics I read (it's one of favorited stories, cause it's just so sad and depressing and for some reason I like that, if you want to read it for some it'll be there) it was really depressing but I added it to my faves anyway haha.**

**Anyway, hugs and prezzies to Kuutamolla, xMistressChaosx, BillySage, Soapy Tucker, nativeof Oooandsouthpark, HappyNoodleGirl666, iluvkenny, lilykinz200, Not the Time To Brake Down, So Many Things and also SparklesMakeMeHappy for all the wonderful reviews hehehe you all get to be whichever pet you picked :3**

**And if you review now you can become friends with all the South Parkers on facebook as well as get all their phone numbers xD mwahaha**


	6. Timmy

T-Timmeh Livin' a lie,

Timmy. Timmeh. T-Timmeh. TIMMEH.

LIVIN' A LIE TIMMEH!

Timmeh… Timmeh, Timmeh, Timmy. T-Timmeh? Arrr Timmeh! Livin' a lie. Livin' a lie TIMMEH! T-Timmeh, Timmeh. TIMMEH. Timmeh Timmy Timmy Timmeh. Timmeh Timmy, Timmeh Timmy. Livin' a lie livin' a lie Timmeh. Timmy. Timmeh. Arrrr Timmeh. Timmy. Timmeh. Timmeh Timmeh Timmy Timmeh… Timmeh? TIMMEH. TIMMY LIVIN' A LIE TIMMEH TIMMY? Tim-eh. Timmy.

Timmeh Timmeh Timmy Timmeh. Timm…y? Timmeh Livin' a lie TIMMEH. TIMMEH TIMMEH?

Timmeh.

Tim… eh. Timmeh. Livin'a lie Timmeh.

Timmy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Timmy doesn't get enough appreciation. I love him though. ****Also I might not update tomorrow D: But I will try to!**

**Thanks to all the fantabulously awesomely epic reviews (I'm kinda in a rush so I won't list them today sorry) and reviewers! Review again and you can convince Trey and Matt to make another South Park Movie! :D Whoooo**


	7. Clyde

To FanFiction Writers,

I think you're all taking my love for Tacos too seriously. Like, seriously. Seriously. I know I might have been a little overweight from them when I was a kid, and I have cried over them one time (or five), but real men cry, right? It's not like I would fuck them or anything. So why is it that there are so manyyyyy one shots (and random scenes that I happen to be in, in stories about Tweek & Craig, I mean what's with me always being a background character or just their friend in them?) about me and my love for Tacos? WHY.

Plus, Token? Really? He may be one of my friends, and it's not like he's bad looking or anything, but I'm a friggin' playa, dude! Didn't you see me with all the girls in _The List_? I know that they only dated me for the shoes, but it's not like just because they know that I know about them only dating me cause of the shoes that I'll _not _date them. I'll still date them, at least I get some action (unlike many of my other friends whom don't have the privilege of having a father who owns a shoe shop…). I also hope you don't think I'm gay… I mean wowee, that trend was out of fashion YEARS AGO. What's with me always being the uke anyway? I'm totally manly and cool and stuff…

And as well as Token, stop pairing me with Craig. And Tacos. That's just kinda weird. Period.

From Clyde.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I kinda wanted to make Clyde's longer but he's not in a whole variety of Fanfics as a main character :l ****Thanks to Not The Time To Brake Down, lilykinz200, happyNoodleGirl666, ladylove1335, SparklesMakeMeHappy, OXRosinaOX, playboyxxx (I don't know how you had two reviews on one chapter, what's with that is it a glitch or something?), Soapy Tucker, iluvkenny, XMistressChaosX and Kuutamolla. There's more appreciation for Timmy then I thought there was :D Yey**


	8. Damien

Deareth FanFiction writers,

What hath thee human race becometh? Doth thee humans no longer crave fighting the other thou's? Instead, you hath searcheth apon internet sites for stories about fictional cartoon characters having sex? As one is one of these unfortunate subjects of written of child pornography, I wish you all to _let Jesus fuck you. Let him fuck you up in the ear, bitches. _The only thing thou has goteth righteth est not to paireth one with a Beast of Burden (the British one can atleast be one's slave) - thou would be senteth to the seventh layer of hell if that happenedeth.

One shall now curse you hooligans. Ahem.

_Sanguis bibimus, corpus edimus, tolle corpus Satani! Ave Satani! Ave Versus Christus! Ave Satani! Ave, pater! MWAHAHAHAH_

One hopes thee all burn in heaven and suffer!

From one, Damien, son of Satan.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Lol fail old english is like queens english /shoots self. Also I don't own The Omen! Or the Excorcist!**

**Thankuuuu to So Many Things, Not The Time To Brake Down, lilykinz200, streebee2, OXRosinaOX, SparklesMakeMeHappy, Soapy Tucker, HappyNoodleGirl666 and Loony-Luna-Lovegood-98 for ze reviewz I love you all :D**

**Review now and you can replace Cartman for yourself in South Park for a whole week xD Whoo**


	9. Stan

To Fanfiction writers,

Kyle may be my super best friend forever, but he isn't my super best boyfriend. Ever.

I know I told him that I love him in the episode _Assburgers, _but when I said that I meant that I love him _as a friend._ Cause I was 10 and drunk and alone, and I wanted my super best friend back.

Dude! I'm not even gay. Isn't it pretty obvious that I like girls – I have been dating Wendy for years, goddamn it! Sure she can be a bitch but I still like her _like that _and I date her. And maybe more… wow just thinking about it gets me exited (blergh). Uh, anyway.

I'm not saying your writing's bad or anything, but maybe your storylines are… yeah.

So maybe you should, like, write more straight stories? 'Cause I doubt that all the boys are gay (you make practically everyone gay in your stories, isn't that kinda mean to the girls?).

Or maybe you don't have to touch on the subject at all, and y'know, write comedies and action and horror and stuff. That's cool.

And just so you know, my dad is throwing a strop because he 'doesn't get enough Fanfictions.' Jesus fucking Christ he acts as if it'll be fun to have people that you don't know write false crap about you having sex with your best friend.

From Stan.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Stan is so normal. Sorry.**

**Anwyay love to XMistressChaosX, Not The Time To Brake Down, HappyNoodleGirl666, lilykinz200, SparklesMakeMeHappy, ladylove1335, OXRosinaOX, Loony-Luna-Lovegood-98, Soapy Tucker, Kuutamolla and ultraman118 for the reviews :D**

**Review and you can write your own South Park episode - you can include your fave pair (or not)! (Just make sure it's still hilarious)**


	10. Mr Garrison

To FanFiction writers,

What is wrong with you? You write all your stories about people who probably aren't even gay, getting gay with each other, yet you write no stories about me, the most gay person on this fucking stupid show, getting gay with anyone. I'm so gay that I got a sex change and then I became a lesbian when I was a girl. Then I got another sex change and I'm STILL GAY.

Why don't you write and steamy hot sex with me and Mr. Slave or something?

Besides, doesn't my determination for getting anything I want count for making an interesting storyline? Remember that episode where me and my (ex) lover made the whole world into atheists just because of my determination and imtimidation? Does this not count for something? Does the fact that all your favourite characters from South Park were taught by me not matter? THEY ALL HAVE INFLUENCE ON THEIR LIVES FROM ME.

Seriously. Make me some more storylines, or I'll get Mr. Slave or Mr. Hat or _someone _to make your life a living hell. Can't think of any storylines? How about this: I discover how to transport from one place to another. I go to president Obama to get his approval of my new invention, and as I bend down to pick up something from the floor he sticks his dick in me and we make hot steamy sex… mmm president Obama is hot.

Yours, Mr. Garrison but soon to be Mr. Obama-Garrison.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just... I don't know. Just for the record I don't think Barack Obama is hot. **

**Thanks to lilykinz200, So Many Things, SparklesMakeMeHappy, Not The Time To Brake Down, ladylove1335, HappyNoodleGirl666, Soapy Tucker, XMistressChaosX, Designer101 and Kuutamolla for the reviews!**

**Oh my, I'm running out of ideas to bribe you all with. You get to give one of them a girly makeover... or something?**


	11. Red

Dear FanFiction writers,

Thanks so much. Even though I am nothing much more than a background character in the show, you include me in many of your stories. I know I may not often be a main character in them, but I have noticed that I am quite often a close friend of one of the main characters (no matter who the main character is, I seem to be friendly with them a lot of the time, which is cool), or a girlfriend of one of the main characters' friends. And you mostly seem to make me a nice person who tries to help the main characters through their 'troubles' or whatever, and I never seem to do anything to interfere with their lives in a bad way.

People like Cartman or others would not be happy with being made to always be just the main character's helpful friend, but ignore them because I am grateful. And luckily I don't have to deal with anything from always being paired with the same character to never being mentioned at all.

Thanks, and I'll be happy if you keep this all the way it is.

Lots of love, from Red.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: OMGGG 100 REVIEWS I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THIS BEFORE I LOVE YOU GUYZ. Sorry this chapter is short and boring, I'll do a better one tomorrow! LUV YOU.**


	12. Kyle

Dear FanFiction writers,

If you ever truly believe that I would ever get with that racist, religionist fatass mother-fucker then you are sadly mistaken. I hate his goddamn guts, do you not understand that? I realise that you need to have your dose of yaoi or whatever you call it, but seriously, this must be the worst pair ever – I know that you think I'm just saying this because I'm included in the pairing (which is stupid cause you pair me with Stan and Kenny a lot and although I think you are dumb for that, it at least kind of makes more sense than this pairing), but I hate him. Really, really hate him. Isn't that kind of obvious by the fact that I argue with him everyday about practically everything? He has no moral values, no common sense and no sympathy for anybody other than himself, as if the whole fucking world revolves around himself. Who the fuck would want to fuck a fat tub of lard like him? As well as myself I feel sorry for Butters because of this reason (who also is paired with him a lot incase you did not know).

Besides, I need to focus on my school work. I don't have enough time. Wait. That kinda makes me sound like a nerd, doesn't it? Well fuck that. I just don't want to be with Cartman in any of your stupid stories.

But I shall not be too mean – instead, here is my constructive criticism (instead of me just complaining): Sometimes stories in which have a pairing usually lead you to make the character very OOC – for example me giving in to Cartman asking to make sweet love to me down by the fire (both of us are OOC incase you can't tell by the scenario). Romance is clearly the most popular on FanFiction, so I guess that's what you're all going to write. And for some reason you don't seem to like heterosexual FanFics. So how about you create more… realistic scenarios? E.G. (Although I'm sure I'll get beaten up for saying this) KennyxButters – isn't it called Bunny or something? – at least would work. Don't get me wrong, it would never happen _anyway, _but Kenny is a pervert and Butters is a push over. Maybe if Kenny was drunk and Butters has memory loss then something might happen. Shit I'm going to get kicked so hard for saying that.

Anyway, other than that (and many grammatical errors), I don't really care what you write. It's not like it's actually real (especially since I don't even know you and I could technically get you all arrested for stalking practically the whole town - don't push your luck) and unless I actually purposely search for it, I should not be affected with it in my daily life.

From Kyle.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: He's a foul-mouthed nerd. Anyway, thanks for the awesomeee reviews from lilykinz200, ladylove1335, SparklesMakeMeHappy, iluvkenny, writer-person2, Not The Time To Brake Down, XMistressChaosX, Kuutamolla, pam, Sleepingkit and alexdemyx :D**

**Also I think I got my first flaming review on this story... but I'm not offended cause I'm not even sure if it was an insult cause it made no sense at all. Infact it made me laugh, ahaha.**

**Anyway review again and you can get stuck in a lift with your three fave South Park characters yeeey**


	13. Token

Dear FanFiction writers,

I don't really know what to say… I'm in your stories a lot, but hardly ever a central character, yet I'm still important enough to have a presence in most stories (pretty much summarising what I am in the actual series). But it's not like I'm often paired in a gay relationship (apart from sometimes Clyde which is dumb cause he's annoying as hell and cries too much – even though the others call _me_ a pussy, we all know _he's_ the pussy), infact I'm quite often paired with girls as a side character (making me the straightest guy out of all the boys? That's cool).

But all this makes me not really mind or care about FanFiction. Maybe you should lay off the romance and make some more fighting (not stupid verbal emotional rubbish but some blood and gore and stuff) and action stuff. Yeah.

That's all.

From Token.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks to Not The Time To Brake Down, alexdemyx, ladylove1335, Designer101, Kuutamolla, Hannah Emily Bunker, Erika Kensuke, SparklesMakeMeHappy, girly101, Soapy Tucker, lilykinz200, Loony-Luna-lovegood-98 and alyssa (you should make an account alyssa, it's fun on here!)! Review now and you get your top five characters and cosplay whatever you want with them at your nearest anime or comic con!**


	14. Pip

Dear FanFiction writers,

Would it be too much to ask for you to stop writing about me? Especially considering that most of what you say is incredibly incorrect. For one, my love is for the one and beautiful Estella. I shall do anything for her and you know it.

As for your odd thought process including pairing me with Damien of all people, you must be absolutely bonkers. I may be a very open minded person (and I try my best to be as nice to people as possible). But as the scenario you usually come up with is 'Pip is being bullied by Cartman and/or everyone else, so Damien gets mad, sets everyone's bottoms on fire and then takes me to his layer of hell to make sweet love down by the fire (which is probably everywhere, as we would be in hell, by the way)', let me tell you that I would not just willingly let him do that to me afterwards. I have enough dignity to not cheat on the love of my life (Estella) especially with a person who made me into a firework just to become friends with people who were mean to him in the first place. I'm not gay anyway (well I am actually, but not gay as in anus penetration).

Besides, I'm dead. All your stories set in high school with me as a main character are silly.

And also, it seems that a few of you who add me as just a side character actually really do think that I am French. I'M NOT FUCKING FRENCH YOU CUNTS, I'M BRITISH. I WAS IN GREAT EXPECTATIONS, SET IN ENGLAND, BY CHARLES DICKENS. I'M NOT EVEN FROM SOUTH PARK, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT ANYWAY? Get that into your small brains please.

From Pip.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks to Not The Time To Brake Down, So Many Things, ladylove1335, SparklesMakeMeHappy, kylekennypiptweek, Soapy Tucker and XMistressChaosX for the fan-banana-tastic reviews!**

**Review now and you get sent to Principle Victoria's office with any of the characters you want cause you convinced them to kiss whatever character you wanted them to (not sure if that made sense haha) but you get away with it cause she gets shot... or something.**


	15. Butters

To FanFiction Writers,

I will admit that I am touched by the fact that you seem to all like me quite a lot, but gee, the stuff you write isn't really very appropriate is it? For one, when I was a kid, I didn't even know what bi-sexual meant. I think that was quite obvious… please don't take it so literally.

Please do not pair me with Eric anymore. Not only am I straight, but Eric is a mean old boy. He's gotten me in trouble so many times. He's the reason for practically half of my groundings! God damn it. I know hate is strong word an all, but I hate him. If he ever tried anything dodgy on me like that (with me knowing that he was doing it – that one time where I was blind folded was uncalled for) I would tell him to go and suck on his own penis.

Also Kenny is a perfectly good friend but I only think of him as a friend.

How about you write stories about the adventures I get up to when I'm grounded? (Not as in masturbating, please stop your perverted thoughts) Such as me taking over the internet in my secret computer base in out basement (I know that I don't actually have a secret computer base but it would be pretty cool if I did, you know what I am saying?) and the whole world bows down to Professor Chaos to let them have the internet back… mwahahaha!

From Butters.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It's more funny when you imagine a Butters accent saying this. ****I am sooo sorry that I haven't updated my internet has been really crappy lately, and unless it stops working again I will try to update every day from now on! Yey.**** Review again and you can get an anime version of South Park made!**


	16. Goth Kids

Dear Nazi-Cheerleader-Conformist Bastards,

Nothing can describe my blackening pain while I read your Twilight-conformist stories about stupid romance that would never happen. And although all you conformists suck emo donkey penis, I will admit that most of you seem to have gotten the 'Goth kids smoke and take drugs and drink coffee and do nothing else' bit right. Apart from the fact that we destroy any Vampire or emo cults forming in our town, and we worship the devil.

And although I just paid you a compliment (which makes me want to puke my fucking lungs out, by the way) I will also critisize you again by telling you that we _do. Not. Hang. Out. With. Craig. Or. Kenny. Or. Anyone. Else. That. You. Try. To. Make. Us. Hang. Out. With._ They're fucking Ken and Barbie bitches, you seem to all think that we will accept them into out Goth gang just because you think they would look sexy smoking. Well let me tell you this, they aren't going to be smoking in the same spot as us. If they try they will be ripped to tiny shreds which we will put into a blender and feed the remains to their pets. Then they will be pooped out by their pets. They will SUFFER.

We'd be more likely to let Damien hang out with us - I mean at least he's related to the devil.

Conformists.

From The Goth Kids.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the reviews from Loony-Luna-Lovegood-98, ladylove1335, lilykinz200, OXRosinaOX, Soapy Tucker, Not The Time To Brake Down, SparklesMakeMeHappy and kylekennypiptweek!**

**Review now and Trey and Matt will make an episode where South Park meets Dr Who (or if you don't like Dr Who then Harry Potter or Hunger Games or whatever you like)**


	17. Bebe

Dear FanFiction writers,

Let me tell you this now. I don't like Wendy in that way. She is my friend, and sometimes I hate her cause she can be a controlling bitch, but we're friends. Nothing more. Hell, I'd be surprised if we're even friends after I _pointed a gun at her._

Either you pair me with her or I'm 'that slut that is friends with the main character but nothing more than a slut'. Sure, I date people just for money (or shoes, whatever) and I got way into the Stupid Spoiled Whore phase when I was a kid, but I am an intelligent girl when I want to be (despite being a blonde - fuck stereotypes) and I'm a good leader. Wendy can be more of a slag than me at times, but you all assume I grow up to be the drunken whore because I was the first to start puberty.

Surely you can come up with some kind of stories for me? Romance (you don't seem to care about the fact that I find Kyle's ass very attractive), action (hell-o I can use a fucking gun?)(it's be cool if I was in the mafia or something!), or WHATEVER.

But I suppose I am grateful for you including me as somewhat of an important character in many of your stories, even if I am a hoe. At least I know that I'm not unpopular or anything when I'm older. Thanks for not much, I guess.

Love Bebe x

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think next chapter will be the last. We all know who it's gonna be. I've also written chapters for Chef, Satan and Mrs. Cartman but they're kinda boring and I was gonna write chapters for all the other characters but none of them really have enough fanfiction and after a while it'll get really repetitive and boring. So yeah. But anyway thanks for the reviews from XMistressChaosX, Designer101, NattyMc, SparklesMakeMeHappy, lilykinz200, Loony-Luna-Lovegood-98, kylekennypiptweek, HappyNoodleGirl666, Soapy Tucker, ladylove1335 and alexdemyx :D**


	18. Craig

To FanFiction Writers,

┌l┐(o_o)┌l┐

From Craig.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks you so much for reading this guys! But now is officially the END. This whole story was so fun to write, by the way :)**


End file.
